When things get tense with someone you love, you reach for the same move almost every time.
That move is your Connection Style.
This free quiz names yours and shows you why it keeps running, even after you've read the books and had the talks.
Free. 8 questions. About 2 minutes.

You've probably taken a quiz that handed you a label. People pleaser. Empath. A type and a list of traits. It felt accurate, and then nothing changed.
Connection Styles measures one thing: the move you make inside a close relationship when connection feels at risk. Going quiet. Smoothing it over. Giving more. Explaining yourself. Keeping score.
There are eight Connection Styles:
The Peacekeeper
The Over-Giver
The Withdrawer
The Pursuer
The Flooder
The Critic
The Defender
The Scorekeeper
You'll probably recognize yourself in two or three of them. The quiz shows you which one is running the show.
Your primary Connection Style, and the backup you reach for when things get really hard
Your payoff: what your style has been quietly protecting you from
Your collision: how your style tends to set off the people closest to you
One specific thing to try with them this week
Every style made sense once. Your result shows you what yours is costing you now.
Connection Styles show up with partners, parents, siblings, adult children and friends. When you take the quiz, answer with the relationship that feels most stuck right now.
It isn't a personality test or a diagnosis. It's a self-reflection tool built from my coaching work, and your style can shift from one relationship to another.

When I was ten, trust broke in my family, and I made a quiet decision: I would have to earn my place.
So I earned it. I spent more than 20 years in marketing and communications, won nine PRSA Prism Awards, and appeared on Good Morning America as a spokesperson. I taught communications at Ohio University, Shawnee State University and Mount Vernon Nazarene University.
None of it touched the belief. In my relationships, I was the one keeping everyone else happy. I dated for twenty years and went out with almost anyone who asked. Somewhere along the way, I had decided my mom's happiness was my job.
What changed it was more than ten years of emotional intelligence work, four intensive EI trainings, therapy, and the slow practice of asking where my reactions came from. I stopped trying to outperform an old belief and started questioning it. After twenty years of dating, I married the man of my dreams.
Connection Styles came out of that work. They're the patterns I lived, and the ones I now help clients see and change.
A big sister has walked the road a little ahead of you. She isn't above you. She tells you the truth because she loves you, and she stays.
With love,
Susie
A free 2-minute quiz
You repeat the same patterns with your partner, family, or friends. One unanswered text, one tense conversation, one person pulling away, and suddenly you’re overthinking, people-pleasing, or going quiet. Are you an overthinker, a people-pleaser, or an avoider? Find out which one you are, and the hidden payoff that keeps it in place, so you can finally get different results.
This is a reflection tool made to spark an honest conversation with yourself — not a diagnosis or a validated psychological test. There are no bad results here, only patterns worth understanding.
Your privacy. Your answers are scored right here in your browser. At the end, you’ll share your name and email so Susie can send your full results. Your details go only to Susie, are never sold or shared with any third party, and you can unsubscribe anytime.
You’ll see a sneak peek of your Connection Style on the next page. Your complete breakdown, including your hidden payoff, what it’s costing you, and your first step, goes straight to your inbox.

Tracie H.

"Susie has a heart-felt passion for helping people reach their fullest potential whether that be in their professional or personal life. She has this ability to reach inside of you to see the best parts of you."

Leah S.

"She truly wants the best for everyone she meets. The wisdom, clarity, and feedback that she brings has been instrumental in creating my own life changes. She walks the talk! It's incredibly powerful to do the thing from someone who has already lived it."

Michele C.

"She listens, asks questions, and isn't afraid to give her honest opinion. She's supportive, direct and willing to have the conversations that aren't always easy."
Yes. You can take the quiz and see your style without signing up for anything. However, if you want the full breakdown sent to your inbox, you can add your email at the end.
About 2 minutes.
Yes. Most people have a primary style and a backup. Some people are a Peacekeeper with family and a Pursuer with a partner.
No. It works for any close relationship. Pick the one that feels most stuck.
You didn't build your pattern because something is wrong with you. You built it because, at some point, it worked. Seeing it clearly is the first step to choosing something different with the people you love.
Helping YOU breakthrough what's been holding you back using emotional intelligence.
© Copyright 2026
Flutter Marketing, LLC dba Big Sister Coach
All Rights Reserved.